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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

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It could be easily seen that there is an increasing trend of the young generation's
crimes
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 rates among many regions. More
crimes
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 cases caused by the young might come from the lack of
parents
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'
attention
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, poor laws and
policies
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, etc, and I will suggest some solutions later in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One of the main causes of rising criminal proportion could come from the
parents
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, or to be more specific, it comes from their irresponsibilities. It is well-known that the best way to raise children is to befriend them, spend time getting to know the
kids
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 better;
hence
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,
parents
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 could provide more
attention
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 in
time
Add an article
a time
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 when it is needed.
Consequently
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, if the young are not received enough
attention
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, they would start to think differently, which leads to more false behaviours.
Additionally
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, the lack of government's
policies
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 has
also
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 led to the growth of teenagers'
crimes
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. When more rules are enacted to punish the wrong behaviours, the young
would be
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would-be
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 aware of those and think twice before they dare to do something illegal.
For example
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, currently, Vietnam's laws for the under 18 are just providing them lectures, grounding them home in a period depending on their wrongdoing. These are not hard enough to prevent those
kids
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 from stealing, murdering, etc. There are many solutions that could be suggested, but the most effective one is enacting more
policies
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 to protect the harmed citizen and hardly punish the wrong one.
As a result
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 of it, there would be more
parents
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 worrying about their children's futures if the
kids
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 get busted,
therefore
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, more
attention
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 is provided. Not only the
parents
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 but
also
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 the
kids
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 might carefully think before doing any illegal stuff and
this
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 could help the rates of criminal decrease significantly. In conclusion, rising rates of
crimes
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 could come from various factors namely
parents
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, schools, and laws. I would suggest that the wrongdoing should be hardly punished by enacting more
policies
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, which could
also
Linking Words
 help protect the citizen more safely.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rates
  • rising
  • younger people
  • causes
  • solutions
  • parental guidance
  • peers
  • socioeconomic factors
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • educational opportunities
  • media influence
  • substance abuse
  • recreational activities
  • law enforcement
  • rehabilitation programs
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