would you agree with the people who think it is better to change career at least once in their life?

Some people may believe that switch in their career even once bring happiness. I agree with
this
statement
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because substitution in a job can enhance one's life from something which is not providing enough satisfaction both physically and mentally.
Firstly
, a certain number of people always find difficulty in cope-up with their working environment.So they thrive for a better
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
that can bring their overall development.
For instance
,those who are working in healthcare settings often experience life-threatening situations.So it could be a difficult exposure to a person who is newly graduated or started to work in a hospital zone.
Althoughcircumstances
Correct your spelling
Although circumstances
can be difficult in many ways ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
people could find other areas which are less burdensome ,
such
as teaching or health education so on. Despite that, always new encounters teach us something new.
Secondly
,monotony in a work can be avoided by a small swapping indeed helpful,especially to decrease boredom and restore energy.
For example
, those who work as a teacher need to deal with the same subject and teaching method throughout the year and afterwards too.So,
this
could be tiring emotionally and drain interest in the job as well. Substitution in career for time is a kind of refreshment in these situations. In conclusion,switching jobs might be difficult ,
however
,it can provide refreshment and
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
to learn new
arenas
Correct your spelling
areas
show examples
of life.
Submitted by resmivpr09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: