IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
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It’s undeniable that a
lot
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 of
people
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 prefer
meat
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 over vegetables. Everyone should a adopt vegetarian diet because consuming a
lot
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 of
meat
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 can cause health problems.
This
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 essay will discuss why I completely agree with
this
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 statement by providing two reasons. The
first
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 reason is eating
meat
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 causes
heart
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disease
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, when a person eats a
lot
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 of
meat
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, he might get
heart
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disease
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 which leads to death.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle used to eat a
lot
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 of
meat
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 but one day, while he was eating, he wasn’t feeling well so he decided to go to the hospital, when he arrived, they checked on him, and they told him that he has
heart
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disease
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.
Therefore
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, consuming a
lot
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 of
meat
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 causes you
heart
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 trouble.
Although
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 some
people
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 are used to eating
meat
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 every day, it’s bad for their health . The
second
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 reason is you might gain weight.
This
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 means when you eat a
lot
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 of
meat
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, you’re going to be fat because
meat
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 has a
lot
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 of protein.
For example
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, my brother eats a
lot
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 of
meat
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, and his weight got increased by 22.
Therefore
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, eating a
lot
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 of
meat
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 makes you fat.
Although
Linking Words
 some individuals say eating
meat
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 is harmless, their completely wrong. To conclude,
this
Linking Words
 essay discussed why I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because eating
meat
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 causes
heart
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disease
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 and you might gain weight. In my opinion,
people
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 should care about their health by limiting their consumption . I recommend that
people
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 should count the calories that they consume a day.
Submitted by amjed778899 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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