Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities.

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities

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this

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modern era, dependency on electrical gadgets is increasing at an alarming rate by the young generation especially, for wrong activities.

As a result

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, their guardians are so worried about

this

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wrong usages and they don't like

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performance by their children's. There are numerous reasons that lead to

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dissatisfaction by family members.

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of all, these kinds of things are distracting the youth from their actual goal like better job opportunities. As, young ones are spending their most of time watching misleading television shows, violent games

instead

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of focusing on studies. A survey held a few years ago in Italy showed eye-opening results; there was 54% of the youth indulge themselves in criminal activities by watching or playing action programs.

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, adults prefer to spend their spare time watching action movies in comparison to talking with their mother or father.

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makes the parents worried about their kids.

Besides

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this

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, it

also

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creates a gap between parents and their children because, they are not spending time with each other and eventually, getting far from one another.

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, families are getting unhappy with all those activities by their children's. In conclusion, I would like to say that

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situation can be solved by collaborative actions by parents, the government, teachers on the whole.

Submitted by gurbinderkaur515 on Tue Nov 23 2021

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
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take, for example

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

214 words

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Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to raise children in the cities while others believe that children should be raised in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your opinion

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people are choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive o

Some people believe the government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

Both governments and individuals are spending vast amount of money on protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?