IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries . Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, in many countries, there is an upward trend among the crimes committed by adolescents.
This
Linking Words
 happens because of lacking knowledge and misunderstanding thinking.
However
Linking Words
, it can be solved by the cooperation of families and society.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers do not aware of the hazardous effects of their wrongdoings. They do whatever they think
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is challenging without noticing the outcomes. Some of them even commit a
crime
Use synonyms
 in order to receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
admission from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others. To illustrate, before being admitted to be one of the gangsters, they have to break some law
enforcements
Fix the agreement mistake
enforcement
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as driving a car over the speed limit for proving that they have enough courage.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is a significant augment in the
youngsters
Change to a genitive case
youngster's
youngsters'
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
's number.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 terrible situation in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some children have an inappropriate mindset. They start to misbehave in order to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attention from their parents. They think that the more they do wrongs, the more attention they receive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved by giving the young appropriate knowledge. Both schools and families have to take full responsibility for teaching them to consider
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their actions. They have to think twice before deciding to do
For example
Linking Words
, they need to know what are the advantages and disadvantages of skipping classes.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law enforcement should be more effective in order to prevent them from doing wrong things. The government have to take serious action among those who commit a
crime
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as increasing the punishment. To summarize, the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 rate resulting from an unawareness of the youngsters together with an inappropriate mindset can be solved by teaching and using the law.
Submitted by Varaiphand on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: