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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Techology is making us more connected to people’s these days.’ To what extent do you agree with this statement.

Good morning, everyone. As our world is becoming more globalized and advanced,
technology
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 has become more common and affects different walks of our life. According to
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Dr.
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Dr
show examples
 Thulin and
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Dr.
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Dr
show examples
Vilhelmson at the University of Gothenburg,
people
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 seem to allocate more
time
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 to online activities as the internet can take place almost anywhere and anytime. To discuss more, I would explain how
technology
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make
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makes
show examples
 us more connected to
people
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 these days,
then
Linking Words
 express my opinions and reasons why I largely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. During the pandemic,
technology
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 has brought us convenience and
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 our quality of life. Based on data from the European Union and the US government, about 110 million
people
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 in the EU and 54 million in the US were teleworking as of March 2020. As
people
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 become more familiar with teleworking, the boom in video conferencing may endure, and
this
Linking Words
 may still apply in the
future’
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future
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. A 2021
study
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 in the international journal “Technological Forecasting & Social Change” suggest that the boom in videoconferencing may
results
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result
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 less face-to-face meetings, foreign travel for short meetings. The more flexible work environments could greatly reduce work
time
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 and increase more leisure
time
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 to gather with families and
friends
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. In the long-term,
people
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 can apply
videoconferencing
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to videoconference
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 in more aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as using zoom to have long-distance family or
friends
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 online gathering,
technology
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break
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breaks
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 the limitations of distance and
making
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makes
show examples
 us more connected to
people
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. Not only using videoconferencing, but
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and social
media
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 can
also
Linking Words
 make us more
connect
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connected
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 to
others
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 too. A 2017
study
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 in the International Journal of Computer Sciences and Engineering, mobile devices and social
media
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such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook become an irreplaceable part of children’s life, social
media
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 even changing the
behavior
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behaviour
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 in which young
people
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 relate with their
friends
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 and
parents
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.
Parents
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 may argue that internet addiction may shorten the
time
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of
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apply
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teenagers communicate with
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parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 and destroy families’
relationship
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relationships
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.
However
Linking Words
, social
media
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 provide a platform for families to have common topics and explode different faces of family members. From the 2017
study
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 of
International
Correct article usage
the International
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 Journal of Computer Sciences and Engineering,
parents
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 can easily check out children’s
interest
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 from the post they share and pose on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
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.
Parents
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 can be easier to know teenagers’ recent
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interest
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interests
show examples
 and discuss the hottest trend with them, it would be easier for teenagers to communicate with
parents
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 if they can have
common
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a common
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 topic and
eager
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are eager
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 to engage in
new
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the new
a new
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 thing,
Linking Words
thus
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this
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technology
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 is making us more connected to
people
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’s these days.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
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 be more connected
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 different online activities. According to
Use synonyms
Dr.
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Dr
show examples
 Thulin and
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Dr.
Change the punctuation
Dr
show examples
Vilhelmson at the University of Gothenburg, young
people
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 tend to spend more
time
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 online if they have more free
time
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 available, especially on weekdays. Nowadays,
people
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 are busy for
study
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 and
work
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working
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, it is hard for us to rearrange
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the schedule
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schedule
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schedules
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 to fit
others
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,
thus
Linking Words
people
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 may face the problem of hard to gather with
friends
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 and families.
However
Linking Words
,
technology
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provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 us
more
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with more
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 ways to communicate with
others
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. Not only using
instant
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an instant
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 messaging app,
such
Linking Words
 as
whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
Whatsapp
 and Line to text with
others
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 and share current
situation
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situations
show examples
, but
people
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 can
also
Linking Words
 play multiplayer online
game
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games
show examples
 to build up common
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interest
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interests
show examples
 and chat with
friends
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, different online activities making busy urbanities be more connected to
people
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. For
social
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the social
show examples
purpose
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purposes
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,
people
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 can find
people
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 with
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 or similar
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interest
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interests
show examples
 online and make new
friends
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. From the 2017
study
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 in the International Journal of Computer Sciences and Engineering, young
people
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 would like to express their thoughts and share their current situation through social networking technologies. Young
people
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 can meet new
friends
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 with
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
Use synonyms
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and widen their social network
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 social
media
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, and even meet online
friends
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 in the reality and build up tense
friendship
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friendships
show examples
. From
this
Linking Words
, social technologies are making us more connected to
people
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. From the above
opnions
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opinions
options
,it is clear to see that
technology
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 give
people
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 a more flexible way to keep in touch with
others
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 and I largely agree with the statement of
technology
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 making us more connected to
people
Use synonyms
’s these days.’

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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