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Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic word. Others believe that some information is to important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both view and give your own opinion?

#people #information #research #business #word
A wide range of
people
 believes that obtaining
information
 from different majors should be accessible to everyone, while others explain that
this
 plan has detrimental effects on society. I assume in order to save our community from adverse consequences; on no account should
information
Add an article
the information
show examples
 in those fields be publicized. On the one hand, some
people
 justifiably argue that prior to informing
people
 with regard to science or other majors, all data should be analyzed.
This
 is due to the fact that many
people
 who are not well-educated misinterpret
this
 data.
For instance
,
people
 who are interested in medical science find it
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
 to make diagnose
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
diseases.
Therefore
, they should struggle with new terms which harm their lives.
This
 situation is compounded by the fact that those
people
 opt to entry to new fields without any considerations.
On the other hand
, a group of individuals claim that by sharing
information
 with
people
, they become more knowledgeable and, in turn, become more efficient citizens. They insist that
this
 strategy plays a vital role in helping citizens to have a great insight into different subjects.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing as many sinners may use
this
information
 to damage communities. For that reason, it is crucial to establish some laws to act as
deterrent
Add an article
a deterrent
show examples
 to
accessibility
Add an article
the accessibility
show examples
 of
information
. In my opinion,
people
 should be divided into two groups: academic and ordinary. Academic
people
 merely access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
information
. In conclusion, even though, sharing
information
 has some merits for
people
 and opens a door to new ideas, making
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 and using data in an unappropriated way are two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 for confiding accessibility.
Submitted by bamdad.aminzadeh on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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