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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of children have become hooked on fat food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

#children #food #drinks #nutrition #diet #rise #obesity #steps
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Bad
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The bad
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 formula of diet and
unhealty
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unhealthy
dieatry
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dietary
habit
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cause
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causes
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 the increase of obesity among
young
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the young
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 generation. There are several problems
may
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that may
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affect
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effect
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affect
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this
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situasion
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situation
 that will
be discuss
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be discussed
be discussing
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on
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in
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this
Linking Words
 essay followed by reasons and examples, as well as steps to prevent the issues. One of the problems of the negative
foodstyle
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food style
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 is because of the trend in kids.
For instance
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,
in
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at
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this
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 age friendship can play important role in
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affecting
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effecting
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affecting
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 children
behavior
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behaviour
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 and lifestyle
such
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 as
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the trend
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trend
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trends
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 in
school
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 or they simply follow their friends
habit
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 in terms of
food
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.
Moreover
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, another problem that
need
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needs
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 to be considered is most of them think that fat
food
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 and aerated water are more delicious than healthy
food
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, which
Linking Words
also
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is also
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 problem of any kind of
ages
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age
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.
For example
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, kids tend to eat healthy
food
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 only if their family is watching and not because of their awareness to eat healthy
food
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.
Hence
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, nutritious
food
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 is still
hard
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a hard
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 issue to be applied
on
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to
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young
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the young
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 generation. A possible solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem
is educate
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is to educate
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 little girls and boys in
school
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 by presenting a fun learning in "how to eat health and nutritious
food
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" to illustrate take,
for
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example
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,example
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 conduct lunch together in
school
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 while the teachers
gives
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give
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 lessons about what kind of
healty
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healthy
 meal should be.
In addition
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, teachers can give a standard of the meal they should bring in order to build a
habit
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 of
eat
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eating
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 nutritious
food
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. Another sensible approach is that parents should build up
positive
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the positive
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 dietary
habit
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 from
house
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the house
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 because house and family
is always be
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is always
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 the main part of kids growth.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
habit
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 may be implied by
do
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doing
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 home-cooking together each day or
barbekyu
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having barbekyu
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 party in
backyard
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the backyard
a backyard
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in
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on
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big
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the big
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 day.
Invite
Wrong verb form
Inviting
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 younger to learn how to cook is one of the best
way
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ways
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 to keep them away from bad foodstyle. To sum up, children may
hooked
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be hooked
hook
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 on
fat
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fast
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food
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 and aerated drinks due to
trend
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trends
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 in
school
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 or the taste of the fast meal, but it can
be mitigate
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be mitigated
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 by education in
school
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 and parents guidance in
house
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the house
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 so that, they can be aware of the importance of
keep
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keeping
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 the healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by Vanessanatha on

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