Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is happening. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

These days many
people
think that
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
in technological terms
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
the upper class in a
privilege
Replace the word
privileged
show examples
position
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
those, rather in financial need,
whereas
others hold another point of view. It is estimated that any
new
Change the word
newly
show examples
presented technological item on the market comes off
expensive
Rephrase
as expensive
show examples
and by doing so unaffordable to the lower class,
further
forcing the gap to widen.
This
essay
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will
firstly
analyze the idea that there is a strong effect of the aforementioned statement,
secondly
scrutinize the opposing view, and
lastly
advocate the latter claim.
To begin
with, in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
world which is entirely connected by modern devices via the internet, big enterprises are competing in the invention of the newest products which leads to a significant increase in their prices.
As a result
,
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
of consumers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot afford it,
thus
, some aspects of today’s life remain unreachable for those
people
.
For instance
, the pandemic in 2020 illustrated
unavailability
Correct article usage
the unavailability
show examples
of primary education for children, who do not have a computer and stable internet.
Moreover
,
this
trend is deteriorating because wealthy
people
belong to a diametrically opposite camp, where the interests of poor
people
are not taken into account.
Nevertheless
, the growing demand for advanced electronics generates supply, which
is encourages
Change the verb form
is encouraged
is encouraging
show examples
with the creation of various categories of them. Today’s mass market is so huge that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
can afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
devices with desirable features based on their resources, price and brand.
Furthermore
, many corporations
such
as Samsung
specially
Rephrase
especially
show examples
make low-budget technologies for
people
with low income.
Secondly
, plenty of hi-tech companies were
found
Wrong verb form
founded
show examples
by dreamers (
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bright minds out of ordinary
people
) from
ordinary
Correct article usage
the ordinary
show examples
social
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
with
further
investments and support of interested parties.
This
fact proves that the ability
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
cooperation
Replace the word
cooperate
show examples
of these
people
, regardless of their background, encourages some to develop ideas of their own,
hence
, the popularity of startups and investment in them by big manufacturers blends the gap between them, making the technology reachable.
To conclude
, the described claim that the possession of the latest electronic systems divides
people
into groups of wealthy and indigents has been tackled from various perspectives. It is reasonable to suggest that essential technologies are accessible to most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
, and there are more things that affect the separation of these two social groups.
Submitted by yyanov2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advances in technology
  • gap between rich and poor
  • economic inequality
  • access to technology
  • competitive edge
  • job displacement
  • automation
  • impoverished areas
  • technological innovations
  • new job opportunities
  • internet connectivity
  • access to information
  • empower
  • educate
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • mobile banking
  • financial inclusion
  • education technology
  • equal learning opportunities
  • exacerbate
  • alleviate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: