It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

While many trusts that media, recent trends and kins play key factors that influence
children
growth.Whereas, others think that family has an important role.
However
, both have major roles to play in a
child
's growth or development. I will elucidate my opinions below.
Firstly
, it is very crucial for a
child
to understand and reciprocate. In recent days we had lots of media more precisely youtube
that is
being popular among the most.
For instance
, my uncle's son spends more time on his father's mobile phone and he hardly spares his time for family. But, at a young ,age I am astonished by the way that he speaks English. The impact of youtube has made so much change in his development.
Secondly
, it is wiser for a
child
to be with his/her family. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Because. Consider removing the comma.

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many
children
start developing the skills and attributes of their parents.
Also
, the bonding that the
children
create will be more strong and the
child
will
also
be loved by their family members a lot.
This
is because
children
are rarely like that.
For instance
, my sister use to hang out with my kiths a lot but I am very reserved on devices. She creates a good repo
that is
not used to it. But, she benefits a lot in many means where I become a victim for many. As I am not aware of many traditions that my family follow.
Thus
, I conclude by saying my opinion that valuable time with family can give lots of difference in
children
growth that they don't benefit from media and recent culture.
Submitted by shabrin01 on

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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