IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while In some others, the government pay for them. Do you think the advantages that government pays the mony outweigh the disadvantages?

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The importance of university fees
are paying
Verb problem
is that
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 either
people
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 or the
government
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 should provide free
education
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 for
people
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 which was always debatable has now become more controversial with some
countries
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 having
this
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 rule,
while
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 other
countries
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 where student pay their own fees. In my opinion. Not only there are myriad merits but
also
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 there are a few demerits of
this
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 trend. There are myriad reasons why
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 provide free
education
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 for
people
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 but the first and foremost one is that
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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knows that
education
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 is the main factor for developing life and educated
people
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to reach better nations
that is
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 why higher
education
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 is free by
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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 in some nations.
For instance
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, Germany has free
education
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 at the university level for both citizens and international students
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is the main reason, Germany is the most invited country among other
countries
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.
Moreover
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, there are some other merits of
this
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 trend.
Firstly
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, every student has the right to get higher
education
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 but some students
have
Verb problem
do
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 not
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 enough
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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 for
further
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 study
that is
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 why the
government
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 can help those students student perceive their higher study.
This
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 is an important advantage because the
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people educated
Add a hyphen
people-educated
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 index is higher than those
countries
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 that are not
proving
Verb problem
providing
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 free
education
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.
On the other hand
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, the
government
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 has not one responsibility there are other sectors
also
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 as health, transportation and others.
That is
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 why those sectors should be balanced by the
government
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. The
education
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 sector
takes
Verb problem
plays
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 an important part in GDP. The main reason why some
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government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not provide free
education
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.
To conclude
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,
according to
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 the argument, one can reach the conclusion that there are many advantages of
this
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 trend but we can not ignore the drawbacks of free
education
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your argument by breaking your ideas into clearer sections and ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct main point.
task achievement
Include more examples and details to fully support your arguments, particularly in explaining the merits and demerits of government-funded education.
language use
Ensure proper grammatical structures and check for punctuation to improve the overall readability of your essay.
content
The essay addresses the topic of government-funded education and presents both pros and cons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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