IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #theaters #sports #stadium #care #education
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It is considered that the building of theatres and sports stadiums are not had to be funded by the
government
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, while a few people think that a country's budget should be invested more
money
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 in healthcare and academic institutions. In my view, it is essential to find a balance between putting
money
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 in either
science
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 or medicine. When it comes to building theatres and sports stadiums, entertaining places are supposed to be less important than hospitals or schools because a football play or spectacle are satisfying only the unnecessary needs of human beings.
Moreover
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, theatres and football have little effect on the city's economy whereas the
government
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 has to invest
money
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 in features that will result in getting a profit. In spite of supporting entertaining places, medical organisations and academic institutions are the key factors that develop the economy of a city.
Firstly
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, the average level of life is determined by a number of cutting-edge technologies which is applied to medical organisations.
Secondly
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, the quality of higher studies in a country defines the number of brilliant young people who will immigrate to get the best
education
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.
Finally
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, I think that the
government
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 has to put
money
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 into
science
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 as well as
education
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 and medicine. On the
first
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 view,
education
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 is quite similar to
science
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,
however
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, there is a huge difference,
therefore
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, funding of
education
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 and
science
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 should be discussed separately. The former reason is having investments in
science
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 results in creating well-developed smart security systems which will lead to decreasing crime rates. The latter reason is preventing environmental disasters
such
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 as earthquakes and global warming. To conclude, people are separated into two groups that have different views on what should be funded by the
government
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 (cultural and entertaining places or healthcare and academic institutions).
However
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, I expect that the
government
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 will find the balance between putting
money
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 into
education
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 and e.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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