IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people say that the Government should not put money on building theaters and sports stadium. Others say that they should spend more money on medical care and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #money #theaters #sports #stadium #care #education
It is considered that the building of theatres and sports stadiums are not had to be funded by the
government
, while a few people think that a country's budget should be invested more
money
 in healthcare and academic institutions. In my view, it is essential to find a balance between putting
money
 in either
science
 or medicine. When it comes to building theatres and sports stadiums, entertaining places are supposed to be less important than hospitals or schools because a football play or spectacle are satisfying only the unnecessary needs of human beings.
Moreover
, theatres and football have little effect on the city's economy whereas the
government
 has to invest
money
 in features that will result in getting a profit. In spite of supporting entertaining places, medical organisations and academic institutions are the key factors that develop the economy of a city.
Firstly
, the average level of life is determined by a number of cutting-edge technologies which is applied to medical organisations.
Secondly
, the quality of higher studies in a country defines the number of brilliant young people who will immigrate to get the best
education
.
Finally
, I think that the
government
 has to put
money
 into
science
 as well as
education
 and medicine. On the
first
 view,
education
 is quite similar to
science
,
however
, there is a huge difference,
therefore
, funding of
education
 and
science
 should be discussed separately. The former reason is having investments in
science
 results in creating well-developed smart security systems which will lead to decreasing crime rates. The latter reason is preventing environmental disasters
such
 as earthquakes and global warming. To conclude, people are separated into two groups that have different views on what should be funded by the
government
 (cultural and entertaining places or healthcare and academic institutions).
However
, I expect that the
government
 will find the balance between putting
money
 into
education
 and e.
Submitted by serebrennikov.dv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: