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Writing Samples /
Band 5

“Your school has enough money to purchase either computers for students or books for the library.Which should your school choose to buy - computers or books ? Use specific reasons and examples to support your recommendation.”

#“your #school #money #purchase #computers #students #books #library #support #recommendation
Educational
Add an article
The educational
An educational
show examples
 institution has
acceptable
Add an article
an acceptable
show examples
 amount of money to buy
laptops
 for students or increase
variety
Add an article
the variety
show examples
 of books for
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
. Without
doubt
Correct article usage
a doubt
show examples
, books are incredibly vital for education. It contains a huge amount of
information
 for improving your knowledge and developing essential skills. But frankly
speaking
Add a comma
,speaking
show examples
this
 method is quite old-fashioned. Historically, people constantly spent hours in libraries for hours on a daily basis. Remarkably,
such
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 consists
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 light and spacious halls with incredibly high ceilings where you have access to almost all
information
. That
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 atmosphere inclined you to concentrate on your homework and nothing could interrupt you. Currently, in the 21st
Century
Add a comma
,Century
show examples
 we are facing state-of-the-art technologies which ceaselessly provide us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
tremendous number of different
information
. Amazingly, but by one ‘click’ you immediately get all
information
 by your request. Computers substantially save your precious time and significantly increase productivity.
Moreover
, it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 instantly share crucial data within your pear group.
Also
, high-end
laptops
 have a little weight which allows you to avoid your back from harmful illnesses. Controversially, laptop screens could possibly cause serious damage to
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
. Spending your studying and leisure time simultaneously with a notebook inevitably harms your eyesight.
Also
,
laptops
 for giant
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 undoubtedly load
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
. On my view,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of leading-edge technologies outweigh the drawback. We absolutely have to develop
this
 educational method. In conclusion,
laptops
 are the best way to make our education more sophisticated. But books
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 popular
till
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays. Each school should decide which approach are appropriate in their case.
Submitted by karpovpmi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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