IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

#people #children #work
Although
 paid
work
 is thought by some to be a useful experience for offspring, other people consider that it can be detrimental.
Children
 can learn about earning money from doing a paid task, whereas, there are
also
 some issues. Doing paid
work
 is advantageous for
children
 in several ways.
To begin
 with, one benefit of
children
 doing paid employment is that they understand the value of salary and how to income it.
This
also
 teaches them not to waste money as they realize the
work
 or effort needed to earn it.
Furthermore
, working teaches
children
 responsibility and independence which will be useful to them later in life.
For instance
, having a job is a responsibility itself, because you need to finish your
work
 in order to be paid off.
On the other hand
, one problem is that the time
children
 spend working prevents them from focusing on their school
work
. Having a good education is the key to a successful future, so being employed as a child can result in
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
 academic performance which can be harmful in the long run. Another possible issue
when
Add a missing verb
is when
show examples
children
 have a job, the company use them as slave labour.
For example
, in some developing countries
children
 are made to
work
 full time, but due to their age are not protected by law.
As a result
, they are paid negligible wages for their
work
. In conclusion, while
children
 can benefit from paid
work
, it is important to consider its drawbacks/negative consequences
also
such
 as poor academic performance.
Submitted by Sayeed Sajeeb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • financial independence
  • responsibility
  • valuable skills
  • impact
  • education
  • exploitation
  • negative effects
  • social life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: