IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #arguments #side #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has always been debatable about the quality of
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 should spend with their families.While some believe that free
time
Use synonyms
 should be utilised for bonding and better understanding between families,others are of the opinion that it sometimes should be utilised to form social bonds .
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument including why I believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to spend
time
Use synonyms
 away from home .
To begin
Linking Words
 with,in today's fast-paced competitive world,
children
Use synonyms
 get less free
time
Use synonyms
 from their academic schedule.
This
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 should be utilised to improve family bonding,which will result in better understanding between them,and develop empathy in
children
Use synonyms
 towards adults.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,parents become aware of the mental state of their
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,a recent study conducted by the Deccan Chronicle showed that increased family bonding is one reason for a safer and healthier community.
Additionally
Linking Words
,it is only during
this
Linking Words
 free
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 get
time
Use synonyms
 to learn family traditions and cultures.
Therefore
Linking Words
,if properly utilised by both the parties,spending free
time
Use synonyms
 with each other has more advantages. On the other side,some people believe that developing a good social bond with peers play a major role in the overall development of a child.The
time
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 spend with their peers improve interpersonal skills and communications,which changes the equation of dynamic for success in the modern world.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 who socialise with their peers, are more confident and progressive compared to the ones who sit at home.
Additionally
Linking Words
,in many ,families since both parents are earning members,they often have to leave
children
Use synonyms
 at daycare centres.
This
Linking Words
 makes the child be independent at a young age.These are the reasons why critics feel that
children
Use synonyms
 should spend
time
Use synonyms
 away from family. To conclude,modern fast-paced society often leaves less free
time
Use synonyms
 for
children
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 develop confidence and become independent by staying with others;
however
Linking Words
,in my ,opinion it is more beneficial to stay with the family members for a safe secure future.
Submitted by rehanafees on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: