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Band 6.5

It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#responsibility #individuals #retirement #governments #obligation #benefit
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The
responsibility
 for providing funds for retirement is incredibly important and something
that is
 often overlooked by younger
people
. Some believe it is the
responsibility
 of the individual to plan for
this
, but others feel it is the
responsibility
 of the state.
People
 who believe that the state should be responsible for funding retirees, base their argument on the fact that in most countries,
people
 pay taxes and social charges to the
government
.
This
 money, they argue, should
also
 go towards the provision of a pension for the person paying the tax.
In addition
, those who have very small or no income, pay little or no tax and do not have the ability to provide for themselves. The
government
,
therefore
, in its role of caring for the population, has an obligation to pay a pension and provide other social benefits,
such
 as medical treatment. Many others,
however
, feel that it is the
responsibility
 of individuals to fund their own retirements. As adults, they argue,
people
 should be able to set aside and invest money throughout their lifetime, so that they can retire with few financial worries. In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 the
government
 has legislated a framework allowing and encouraging citizens to save up and accumulate sufficient funds for the period after their working years have ended. I neither agree nor disagree with the statement, but rather my opinion takes in parts of both arguments. I feel that
people
 should be responsible for saving money to fund their retirement, but I
also
 feel that individuals who have not had the chance to do so should be supported by the
government
 out of taxes. In my view,
therefore
, it is wrong to say that governments have no obligation to help
people
 in
this
 area. Governments are there to support the entire population of their countries, which includes the poorer elements of society.
Submitted by lahiru.dilshan1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement savings
  • financial planning
  • economic circumstances
  • government provision
  • basic state pension
  • financial independence
  • income disparities
  • aging populations
  • social safety net
  • tax burden
  • financial education
  • quality of life
  • personal financial responsibility
  • social inequality
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