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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development
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Nowadays, youngsters are wasting their free
time
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 on the
computer
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 by playing video
games
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. In my opinion, there are two reasons why
people
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 prefer to use their leisure
time
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 on
computer
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games
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.
However
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, it will have negative effects on physical health.
To begin
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 with, many
people
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 play
computer
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games
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 due to convenience and
relaxation
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.
Firstly
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, adults work too much which causes them to get stressed easily, and these
people
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 rarely have
time
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 for other activities, so they choose
computer
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games
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 because it makes them convenient and
relaxation
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.
Secondly
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, due to the advancement of
computer
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 gaming,
games
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 are developed so adults can choose many
games
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 according to their hobbies creating fun and
relaxation
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 for them.
On the other hand
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, spending too much
time
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 playing
computer
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games
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 affects players’ physical health. It means there is no physical exercise when
people
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 spend several hours sitting in front of a screen, so
this
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 leads to symptoms
such
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 as obesity.
In addition
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, it can
also
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 harm the eyes because they have to see the blue screen for a long period of
time
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.
Furthermore
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, if the players concentrate on the game and do not communicate with others or participate in any activities, so these can make them be unsociable
people
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. It will affect their relationships like friends, colleges, or even family. In conclusion, even though playing
computer
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games
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 in their free
time
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 offers convenience and
relaxation
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 to players. Personally, I think that wasting free
time
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 on a videogame is not beneficial, it will affect physical health problems and social behaviour.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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