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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

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It is stated that men and women are living longer lives and that the
retirement
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age
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 for
such
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people
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 should be raised. Personally, I feel that raising the
retirement
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age
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 will benefit the country's economy and increase
people
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's
life
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 expectancy. For starters, raising the
retirement
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age
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 has far-reaching effects
for
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on
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 the country's economy. Senior employees have more experience in solving difficulties in job areas, whereas fresh employees are unable to make significant decisions.
For example
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, a veteran teacher like Miss. Spring will know that I wrote
this
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 essay 2 hours before the deadline, but a newbie won’t.
Additionally
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, a retired person's
life
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 can be impacted by
a
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apply
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limited
retirement
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age
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.
People
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 who live a long period after
retirement
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 require more money to live a stable
life
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. Recent research shows that
people
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 10 years after their
retirement
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 suffer from many illnesses, some even need special treatment. In that case, raising the
retirement
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age
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 for
such
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people
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 will give them opportunities to earn more money,
then
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 use it to cure
their
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the
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 illnesses that they might suffer from.
Besides
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, being idle all the time is boring, raising the
retirement
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age
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 can help to reduce loneliness and depression at old
age
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. In conclusion, the
retirement
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age
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 can be raised in accordance with a country's average
life
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 expectancy. As the
retirement
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age
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 rises, more experienced
people
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 will be able to work in a variety of departments.

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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