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Band 6

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

#adults #time #computer #games #development
The fact that many
adults
 take their spare time to play video
games
 on their technological devices
such
 as computers is a matter of great concern.
This
 issue stems from some reasons including creating social relationships and reducing stress and I believe
this
 trend brings
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults
. There are several reasons why
adults
 want to play computer
games
.
Firstly
, the adult can add new friends from many areas.
For example
, a well-known game in South East Asia called “ league of legends” helps people talk directly and send
messeges
Correct your spelling
messages
 to their
teamate
Correct your spelling
teammate
team mate
 to make a strategy for being the winner in their game.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults
 ought to
work
 hard to make a living, so they need to relax and recharge batteries for
work
 the
next
 day. Because
adults
 have logical and critical thinking to sell a product or have a meeting with the board of directors in their company, which makes them feel
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
 and exhausted. Meanwhile, they might not need to think logically and the
games
 have more interesting and hilarious images which
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them be more comfortable and happier. While many people think playing
games
 bring many disadvantages, I
also
 suppose playing
games
 help
adults
 learn effectively another language which can be beneficial for their
work
. Due to quality and reality graphics,
adults
 tend to play
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign game which forces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult to communicate and exchange information with their foreign friends in
English
.
Therefore
, they have an
oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 for direct exposure
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
English
instead
 of joining extra classes or online courses which are not as effective as playing
games
.
For example
, in Pubg Moblie, the
adults
 have to know
English
 to control their figure or buy some weapons and especially they have to communicate with their
teamates
Correct your spelling
teammates
 from other countries in
English
.
As a result
, not only can the
adults
 reduce stress after working but they
also
 can learn another language like
English
 which can create more
work
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for the player. In conclusion,
adults
 play
games
 due to having new relationships and being more relaxed after
work
 and
this
 trend brings them perks concerning learning a language.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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