Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

The fact that many

adults

take their spare time to play video

games

on their technological devices

such

as computers is a matter of great concern.

This

issue stems from some reasons including creating social relationships and reducing stress and I believe

this

trend brings

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

. There are several reasons why

adults

want to play computer

games

Firstly

, the adult can add new friends from many areas.

For example

, a well-known game in South East Asia called “ league of legends” helps people talk directly and send

messeges

Correct your spelling

messages

to their

teamate

Correct your spelling

teammate

team mate

to make a strategy for being the winner in their game.

Secondly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

ought to

work

hard to make a living, so they need to relax and recharge batteries for

work

the

day. Because

adults

have logical and critical thinking to sell a product or have a meeting with the board of directors in their company, which makes them feel

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

and exhausted. Meanwhile, they might not need to think logically and the

games

have more interesting and hilarious images which

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them be more comfortable and happier. While many people think playing

games

bring many disadvantages, I

also

suppose playing

games

help

adults

learn effectively another language which can be beneficial for their

work

. Due to quality and reality graphics,

adults

tend to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign game which forces

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult to communicate and exchange information with their foreign friends in

English

Therefore

, they have an

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

for direct exposure

with

Change preposition

show examples

English

instead

of joining extra classes or online courses which are not as effective as playing

games

For example

, in Pubg Moblie, the

adults

have to know

English

to control their figure or buy some weapons and especially they have to communicate with their

teamates

Correct your spelling

teammates

from other countries in

English

As a result

, not only can the

adults

reduce stress after working but they

also

can learn another language like

English

which can create more

work

opportunites

Correct your spelling

opportunities

for the player. In conclusion,

adults

play

games

due to having new relationships and being more relaxed after

work

and

this

trend brings them perks concerning learning a language.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sun Nov 28 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

some people usually appreciate others according to social status or material possessions and they think ol-fashioned values include honor, kindness, trust are not important in the digital era.

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.