Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

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The fact that many

adults

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take their spare time to play video

games

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on their technological devices

such

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as computers is a matter of great concern.

This

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issue stems from some reasons including creating social relationships and reducing stress and I believe

this

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trend brings

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

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. There are several reasons why

adults

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want to play computer

games

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Firstly

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, the adult can add new friends from many areas.

For example

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, a well-known game in South East Asia called “ league of legends” helps people talk directly and send

messeges

Correct your spelling

messages

to their

teamate

Correct your spelling

teammate

team mate

to make a strategy for being the winner in their game.

Secondly

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adults

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ought to

work

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hard to make a living, so they need to relax and recharge batteries for

work

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the

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day. Because

adults

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have logical and critical thinking to sell a product or have a meeting with the board of directors in their company, which makes them feel

stressful

Replace the word

stressed

show examples

and exhausted. Meanwhile, they might not need to think logically and the

games

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have more interesting and hilarious images which

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them be more comfortable and happier. While many people think playing

games

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bring many disadvantages, I

also

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suppose playing

games

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help

adults

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learn effectively another language which can be beneficial for their

work

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. Due to quality and reality graphics,

adults

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tend to play

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign game which forces

the

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apply

show examples

adult to communicate and exchange information with their foreign friends in

English

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Therefore

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, they have an

oppurtunity

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opportunity

for direct exposure

with

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show examples

English

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instead

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of joining extra classes or online courses which are not as effective as playing

games

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For example

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, in Pubg Moblie, the

adults

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have to know

English

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to control their figure or buy some weapons and especially they have to communicate with their

teamates

Correct your spelling

teammates

from other countries in

English

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As a result

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, not only can the

adults

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reduce stress after working but they

also

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can learn another language like

English

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which can create more

work

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opportunites

Correct your spelling

opportunities

for the player. In conclusion,

adults

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play

games

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due to having new relationships and being more relaxed after

work

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and

this

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trend brings them perks concerning learning a language.

Submitted by jakedth162 on Sun Nov 28 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

More and more people are moving away from agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequence of this? What solutions can you offer?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.