Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Television's advertisements targeting little
children
particularly between the ages of two and five years old
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are absolutely unacceptable and unjustified.
This
essy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
adresses
Correct your spelling
addresses
address
the reasons behind my claim.
First
of all, it is not acceptable from an ethical point of view for trading companies to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Televesion
Correct your spelling
Television
to broadcast
children
's directed advertisements. At ages of less than eighteen years old , the youngsters' mental judgement is still not mature enough to decide regarding the
genuity
Change the capitalization
Genuity
show examples
of goods that being advertised ,
thus
, it seems to me that trying to influence
children
's decision through the screen to change their
mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
show examples
should be prohibited since it is not ethical at
this
age at least.
Additionally
, using the media in general and the Television
in particular
for
children
's targeted advertising might create a consuming society where
children
encountered
Add a missing verb
are encountered
show examples
as the
first
victims.
In other words
, parents will be under the pressure of their
children
to get them the goods shown on the TV
nevertheless
if they might
needed
Change the verb form
need
be needed
show examples
or not just because they look extremely attractive on the screen. Companies usually enhance shopping impulsivity rather than satisfying
children
's essential needs. In conclusion,
children
between two and five years old should not ,by any means, be targeted by Television's advertisements , because
this
is considered ,by me at least, absolutely unethical, and it
also
might lead to a consuming society with all its negative impacts.
Submitted by mkhmd68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: