IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely believed, that attending public events like concerts, matches and plays is more exciting than watching It on TV or on video. I totally agree with
this
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 point of view and will give arguments in
this
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assay
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essay
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.
First
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 of all, when deciding to visit a football match or music show people expect more than just to see a game or to listen to music. We usually look forward to emotional boost and overwhelming feelings that
goes
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go
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 from thousands of people that surround us. Evidently,
energy
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the energy
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 of a crowd cannot be perceived through a TV screen. From my experience, just being inside a roaring stadium always leaves
unforgettable
Correct article usage
an unforgettable
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 impression even for those who are not fans of sports or bands.
Secondly
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, live performance gives to
audience
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the audience
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 an experience of eye-to-eye contact with artists and celebrities, which could get a thrill for fans.
For example
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, watching a theatre play from front row seats gives a viewer a feeling of being a part of
action
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the action
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, makes
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
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 to read emotions from actors’ faces and empathise with their emotions.
Moreover
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, modern sound technologies are still not capable to reproduce real orchestra music and singer voices.
Therefore
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, opera lovers would prefer to enjoy the show in a concert hall rather than in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 quiet and
comfort
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comfortable
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 conditions of their homes. To summarize, witnessing live performances seem to be much more fascinating than watching it on television mostly because of
atmosphere
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the atmosphere
an atmosphere
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 of a place and
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
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 of a moment and
people
Correct article usage
the people
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around
Correct pronoun usage
itaround
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.
This
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 level of emotions can hardly be achieved by sitting on the couch.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • replicated
  • energy
  • atmosphere
  • sense of community
  • shared excitement
  • unforgettable
  • predictable
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • crowds
  • travel
  • multiple camera angles
  • close-ups
  • replays
  • enhancing
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