Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until there are six or seven years old. Others believe that is important for young children to go school as soon as possible. What do you think are the advantages of attending school from a young age?

Many
parents
are really
concerninged
Correct your spelling
concerned
concerning
and even stuck thinking
when
Change preposition
about when
show examples
their
children
should start attending
school
. Some
parents
are taking care of their generation and do not see a critical need to torture them by writing, reading and other
school
activities too early. But I would support
parents
encouraging their kids to start attending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
from a young age. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the sooner a child starts getting used to
educational
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the educational
show examples
environment the better he will be adapted to
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
process
and be socialized. That would be certainly more beneficial for him later. It should
also
be mentioned that
such
kids will have more time to get new knowledge in comparison with ones going to
school
1-2 years later. Nowadays, in
quite
Change the article
quite a
a quite
show examples
rapid rhythm of living and tough competition in the
market
Add a comma
,market
show examples
I am pretty sure
such
approach will help these kids to be more successful, confident, educated and competitive in future.
Afterwards
Add a comma
,Afterwards
show examples
when
this
kid will grow up and become a highly-educated and demanded specialist on the market I am pretty sure he will understand that his forward-looking
parents
were absolutely right.
Definitely
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,Definitely
show examples
children
need to have
childhood
Add an article
a childhood
show examples
and satisfy it. But
early
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the early
show examples
start of going to
school
might be challenging. To make
such
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
start of
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
process
less stressful I believe that some basic educational
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
in game form and attending educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
for 5-6-year
children
in advance might be the golden mean.
Workload
Add an article
The workload
show examples
in
such
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
that are engaged in
preparation
Add an article
the preparation
show examples
of
children
to
school
on
professional
Add an article
a professional
the professional
show examples
level is appropriate, limited and manageable in general, given tasks are not quite complicated, timelines for
homeworks
Change the capitalization
Homeworks
homework
show examples
are comfortable. So, at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
a child is getting familiar with
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
process
, gets used to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
responsible, absorbs new information in game form, starts being socialized trying to build up communication with other unknown people in small not crowded groups.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
such
children
will become educated enough and prepared smoothly to
school
and in parallel certainly can satisfy by their childhood.
Submitted by mila.kniaz on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • peer interaction
  • academic foundation
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • time management
  • organizational skills
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • acceptance
  • educational resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • learning experience
  • early identification
  • learning disabilities
  • intervention
  • support
  • assistance
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