IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show a life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons when relevant.

The diagrams below show a life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons when relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The following diagrams illustrate the cycle of
life
Use synonyms
 of a species of huge fish which is named the salmon.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 3 main stages in
this
Linking Words
 diagrams
According to
Linking Words
flow
Add an article
the flow
a flow
show examples
 chart, salmons begin
life
Use synonyms
 as eggs hidden among the reeds, under the small stones in the upper river. After 5 to 6 months, these eggs hatch into “fry”-baby salmon and they will start their process of growing in three main stages.
The first step is
Linking Words
 that “fry” with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 size
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3 to 8cm move to the lower river with fast flowing and they will stay there for approximately 4 years.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, “fry” become “smolts” with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 size
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 12 to 15cm, they swim to the open sea and live here for around a period of 5 years.
Finally
Linking Words
, smolts grow up and change into “
aldult
Correct your spelling
adult
 salmons” with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 size
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 70 to 75cm, the mature fish go back to their birthplace in the upper river which has
slow moving
Add a hyphen
slow-moving
show examples
, the eggs are
layed
Correct your spelling
laid
played
 and the cycle of
life
Use synonyms
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 again. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 ends the description of the process of salmon’s
life
Use synonyms
 cycle.
Submitted by hnphu79 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words life with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater streams
  • small pebbles
  • reeds
  • alevin
  • yolk sac
  • nourishment
  • fry
  • grow stronger
  • grow larger
  • parr
  • defined markings
  • estuaries
  • smolt
  • adapt to saltwater
  • ocean
  • full size
  • sexual maturity
  • spawn
  • life cycle
What to do next:
Look at other essays: