Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions.

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions

As you probably know, many

people

think it’s no need to improve and accept unsatisfied circumstances like lack of money or

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

an unfavourable job.

This

might be because a few residents

literrally

Correct your spelling

literally

want to avoid

risk

Add an article

the risk

show examples

of financial problems.

Besides

, they would have

senses

Fix the agreement mistake

sense

show examples

of security and find their

lives

better. As a matter of fact, finance is a big life pressure, especially with someone who’s a breadwinner. So that lots of individuals manage to forget about making money and enjoy a normal life.

Moreover

, too much property could lead to conflicts and observations, so they want to limit them. Another point that I need to comment on is that

people

who suffer from physical or mental impairments and who don’t have skills

also

accept to deal with

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

For example

, several poor residents who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

never been trained would choose

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard work in factories to get money. But

on the other hand

in society, there are several individuals

want

Correct pronoun usage

who want

show examples

to try and change awful circumstances.

Firstly

, they want to have better

lives

without being worried about poverty and their future

lives

In addition

, their

lives

could be more meaningful for their efforts if they confidently changed unsatisfactory situations.

Therefore

, they will be proud of what they’ve done.

Secondly

, changing an unwelcome situation

also

makes

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

have

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

life view and serious attitude. So that they seriously

fullfil

Correct your spelling

fulfil

their dreams and get success in their

lives

Last

but not least, citizens can discover their abilities from working hard. Let me take Jeff Bezos

for

Change preposition

show examples

an example. He did set up from a small company located in his house which wasn’t known by many

people

to the great company in the world. All of his efforts with his talent have

create

Change the verb form

created

show examples

“Amazon”. In summary,

this

issue has disadvantaged and advantaged views. In my point of view, I choose the

second

as the modern world has changed a lot with many progressions.

People

lives

would be harder if they are content

bad

Change preposition

with bad

show examples

situations.

Submitted by hnphu79 on Mon Nov 29 2021

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be dome to reverse it?

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.

In developed countries, more and more people buy and use their cars. Do the advantages for people of car using outweight its disadvantages on environment.

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.