Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions.

As you probably know, many
people
think it’s no need to improve and accept unsatisfied circumstances like lack of money or
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
an unfavourable job.
This
might be because a few residents
literrally
Correct your spelling
literally
want to avoid
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
of financial problems.
Besides
, they would have
senses
Fix the agreement mistake
sense
show examples
of security and find their
lives
better. As a matter of fact, finance is a big life pressure, especially with someone who’s a breadwinner. So that lots of individuals manage to forget about making money and enjoy a normal life.
Moreover
, too much property could lead to conflicts and observations, so they want to limit them. Another point that I need to comment on is that
people
who suffer from physical or mental impairments and who don’t have skills
also
accept to deal with
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
For example
, several poor residents who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
never been trained would choose
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard work in factories to get money. But
on the other hand
in society, there are several individuals
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
to try and change awful circumstances.
Firstly
, they want to have better
lives
without being worried about poverty and their future
lives
.
In addition
, their
lives
could be more meaningful for their efforts if they confidently changed unsatisfactory situations.
Therefore
, they will be proud of what they’ve done.
Secondly
, changing an unwelcome situation
also
makes
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
life view and serious attitude. So that they seriously
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
their dreams and get success in their
lives
.
Last
but not least, citizens can discover their abilities from working hard. Let me take Jeff Bezos
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
an example. He did set up from a small company located in his house which wasn’t known by many
people
to the great company in the world. All of his efforts with his talent have
create
Change the verb form
created
show examples
“Amazon”. In summary,
this
issue has disadvantaged and advantaged views. In my point of view, I choose the
second
as the modern world has changed a lot with many progressions.
People
lives
would be harder if they are content
bad
Change preposition
with bad
show examples
situations.
Submitted by hnphu79 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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