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Band 2

Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solution can you suggest?

#variety #sport #facilities #gyms #people
Nowadays, individuals have more opportunities for being in shape by going to the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 areas than
last
 decades.
However
, they avoid spending their time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing sports and the cause is that
all
Correct pronoun usage
they all
show examples
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 digital devices. To tackle
this
 issue, people must limit themselves and set restrictions
using
Change preposition
on using
show examples
 their gadgets. These days, phone
addition
Correct your spelling
addiction
show examples
 is one of the main
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
 on our Earth which is causing laziness and losing shape.
Hence
, society should avoid overusing phones in order to prevent these problems.
However
, many developed countries have a lot of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 facilities and places where people can participate as a sportsman which is great but not all have
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
 to take part in sports.
Therefore
, individuals need to control their schedule which in turn might assist them to be in shape.
For example
, if people had known the consequences of spending time on their gadgets, they would have spent less attention
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their devices and would have focused on their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. setting restrictions and having
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the best
solutioin
Correct your spelling
solution
 to tackle
Submitted by Ozy_boy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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