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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #life #cycle #species #fish #salmon #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The following diagrams illustrate the life cycle of
salmon
 from different perspectives.
Overall
, there are 3 primary
step
Change to a plural noun
steps
show examples
 in a transformation from fry to smolt and to adult
salmon
.
Firstly
,
salmon
 eggs are placed in the upper river where the water current
are
Change the verb form
is
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 moving slowly. More clearly that in the reeds with a number of tiny stones. They spend almost half a year for eggs to develop into fry which
look
Change the verb form
looks
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 similar to small
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
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, about 3 to 8
centimeter
Fix the agreement mistake
centimeters
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Secondly
, some information present that after
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
in to
Correct your spelling
into
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 fry, they move to the
faster flowing
Add a hyphen
faster-flowing
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 water which
called
Add a missing verb
is called
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lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
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 river, and stay there for about 4 years they grow and become larger , s
molt
Change the spelling
moult
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, which is about 12 to 15
centimeter
Change the spelling
centimetre
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.
Finally
, they continue their journey to the open sea, another 5 years were spent and eventually smolt develop
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 an adult
salmon
 which
about
Add a missing verb
is about
show examples
 70 to 76 cm.
Then
 they again move to the upper river for reproduction after reaching
this
 stage
Submitted by hnphu79 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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