IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE BUY THEIR CHILDREN A LARGE NUMBER OF TOYS TO PLAY WITH WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES FOR THE CHILD OF HAVING A LARGE NUMBER OF TOYS

#people #children #toys #child
Nowadays
parents
 spend a huge amount of money buying playthings for their children .There are certain advantages and disadvantages to buying toys both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay . The main benefit of buying trinkets is they serve educational purposes.
Parents
 believe that playing interactive games will enhance their learning skills and understanding .While playing with puzzle games like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jigsaw,scrabble ,crossword make the mind of the kid sharp .Scrabble games improve their vocabulary and idea generation .Study shows that kid who plays with education concept doll are more intelligent as compared to their peers .
Secondly
 in present days
parents
 are working that's why they are unable to give time to their children so they buy plaything as compensation for their time . Despite the above-mentioned ,advantages there are
also
 disadvantages to buying a trinket for the little one .Because there is now a trend to buy lots of playthings, kids spend most of their time playing with these dolls and avoid going outside to play physical activities .
However
, They become Introverts and do not interact with their
parents
 and outsiders .
This
 discourages them to share their emotions with non-living objects which are not good for their mind . Surveys show that teenagers spend most of their feelings with their trinkets.,
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
 children are impacted when they have too many playthings.
Submitted by ka261991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: