Some people claim that immigrants should adopt the local culture when immigrating to a new country. While others think that they can establish a minority community instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Whereas
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some individuals believe that newcomers to the country need to adopt the national
culture
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, during the migration, others claim that all can set up their own
cultures
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instead
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. The gap between
cultures
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could be enormous and these have some benefits and drawbacks.
This
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essay will discuss whether immigrants ought to establish new
cultures
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or not. On the one hand, nowadays, the number of the population who are migrating to other countries is increasing negatively because of war.
Thus
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, individuals aim to migrate to other countries to live a better life and seek support from other government officials.
However
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, once, migrants reach their destination, they face different
cultures
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and mix with them and sometimes
this
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adaptation brings too many problems for both citizens and newcomers.
For example
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, if one
culture
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mix
Change the verb form
mixes
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with another it could destroy both cultural and traditional values which could lead to bad consequences.
On the other hand
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, minor communities can increase cultural divergence and
as a consequence
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, people might live in these countries confidentially regardless of race and nation. It can be seen that if a country has a multinational
society
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social
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structure, more people are respectful of different colours and their preferences.
For instance
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, many immigrants are living in Canada and
hence
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, Canada has enforced laws in order to defend every individual's rights and lack of nationalism. In
this
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way, there is no doubt that more freedom could be provided to societies with respect to minority communities.
To conclude
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, the gap among the
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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might be huge differences especially
while
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migrating from one place to another. Nowadays, immigrants have been facing so many
cultures
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and some create their own community but some adopt
this
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nations'
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
culture
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.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your introduction by clearly stating your opinion regarding the topic. It would help to more explicitly present the two views you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that states the main point of that paragraph. This will help with logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your use of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and ideas, providing clearer connections between your thoughts.
task achievement
While you provided an example related to Canada, consider including more examples or explanations to support your points more thoroughly, which would enhance the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, showing an understanding of differing perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
There is an attempt to connect ideas between paragraphs, which is a good step towards coherence in writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adopt the local culture
  • integrate
  • social customs
  • mutual respect
  • cultural clashes
  • minority community
  • cultural diversity
  • emotional support
  • mental health
  • multicultural society
  • harmonious coexistence
  • heritage
  • social acceptance
  • cultural practices
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