Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Nowadays, some

people

consider that parents should take the

responsibilty

Correct your spelling

responsibility

to make their

children

how to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

society

On the contrary

, few

people

think that

school

is the better version to learn

this

aspect. In

this

essay, I will discuss both these situations from my

perspectives

Fix the agreement mistake

perspective

show examples

. Being in a common

society

helps

children

to learn to communicate with

people

Additionally

, they

also

learn to show respect to elders.

Children

should know how to contribute some money to helpless

people

In addition

such

children

can create a charity or organization by contributing some money together.

As a result

, elders will feel proud to see the good change in

children

Further

, they acquire some decent manners by talking to adults.

Environment

Add an article

The environment

show examples

is another factor to consider which results in the growth of

children

's behaviour.

Hence

, they will realize that they can improve themselves from

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

This

is because parents play an essential role in

thier

Correct your spelling

their

the

childrens' lives.

Hence

this

continuity will pass over the

generation.

School

plays the biggest and the most vital role in one's life. In the same way,

children

also

learn how to be a good member

Change preposition

show examples

school

Therefore

school

is the

second

home to them. So they do not only obtain

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

they need,

aslo

Correct your spelling

they learn about the very disciplined life they need.

Furthermore

, they share

thier

Correct your spelling

their

thoughts and things with their friends and classmates.

For example

, sharing tiffins when one has less to eat.

Additionally

, basic knowledge helps them to comprehend the relationships when they are in a

society

Therefore

, these young

people

learn to be good leaders and teammates. Cooperation between them will lead to having

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

friendship but not rivalry. To conclude, I think

children

both environment of

society

and

school

for their healthier development. So that their lives can have a great balance.

Submitted by akrammum12 on Mon Nov 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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