IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #behaviour #circumstances #crime
It is asserted by some people that the hereditary factors in having criminal behaviour are of great importance.
However
, personal and social circumstances are key elements that appear to have a number of proponents. Both sides present logical arguments which will be elucidated, followed by my own take on the matter. On the one hand, genes in commitment a crime take priority in some people’s opinion. The most important underlying justification is that the presence of some particular hormones and genes in people leads to breaking the law. Simply put, offenders tend to crimes instinctively since when they were born as well as doing wrong things always has been accompanied with them. An obvious example of
this
 is sexual offenders who do not have any reasons for their wrongdoings since they just commit
this
 by hereditary motivations.
However
, others advocate the idea of illegal behaviour of some lawbreakers
as a result
 of personal and social circumstances.
To begin
 with, some culprits were born in dysfunctional families with a lot of financial problems and cultural issues. Under
this
 condition, individuals have more tendency for criminal actions. To be more precise, there is a strong correlation between committing offences and personal difficulties.
Moreover
, supporters of
this
 idea claim that wrongdoers have not been educated due to cultural poverty and financial constricts. to put it another way, they do not have not only academic skills but
also
 professional abilities.
Therefore
, they can not take the shoulder of any responsibilities in society. To conclude, I would tend to side with those supporting poor situations when it comes to committing an offence. It seems to be unreasonable to highlight the genetic factors in
this
 regard and seems more logical to pay attention to conditions that lead to illegal activities amongst culprits.
Submitted by roshaniomolbanin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: