Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case

the

Correct article usage

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competitive society, many

people

would prefer to work for themselves rather than be an employee for a company or organization.

However

, there are many

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

and disadvantages for

this

phenomenon. There are

many

Replace the quantifier

much

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reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

for an increasing number of young

people

to start a business by themselves.

Firstly

, due to the competition in applying for a good job, they made that decision.

People

want to world in a well-known organization of well-paid jobs but these

organization

Change the determiner

organizations

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require high qualification degrees and excellent skills.

Therefore

, it boosts the competitive market and makes many difficulties for individuals seeking

good

Change the article

a good

show examples

job.

Secondly

, some young entrepreneurs desire to be rich. When they choose to be self-employed, they can get more profit and become rich in a short time.

However

, these young

businessman

Change the determiner

businessmen

show examples

have to face

Replace the word

too

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many

drawback

Change to a plural noun

drawbacks

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if they do not have enough experience and knowledge. They can take risk of not having enough money in time. If

these

Change the determiner

this

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company has bankrupt, they can lose

everythings

Correct your spelling

everything

. Another

disadvantages

Replace the adjective

disadvantage

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is that self-employed

people

have to do work day to day and more times than

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

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in another company.

Therefore

, they do not have enough time for their family children and affect badly relationship. It makes an imbalance between work and life and the personal routine can be changed as well. In conclusion, self-employed entrepreneurs have many benefits to make them rich but there are many disadvantages should be considered.

Submitted by vuduy2701 on Mon Nov 29 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

237 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-employment
freelancing
entrepreneurship
autonomy
financial stability
work-life balance
financial insecurity
lack of support
resources
long working hours
uncertain income
job security

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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university educatio benefits individuals rather than society. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Countries around the world require more and more energy every year for domestic and industrial use. What are the causes of this excessive energy consumption, and how does it affect the environment?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been proposed that citizens should only consume food and drink products that have been produced in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?