Some feel that good entertainers are as important to society as scientists. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Content creators are the

invention

Check wording

inventors

show examples

of new creations. In fact, they are as much as significant as a scientist, which is

also

Linking Words

believed by several

persons

Check wording

people

show examples

. In my opinion, I support

this

Linking Words

notion as they are not only

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media

influencer

Fix the agreement mistake

influencers

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrity

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrities

show examples

that everyone else is looking for.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue the same in

further

Linking Words

detail.

To begin

Linking Words

with, entertainers are always curious to show us something new. All sorts of

individuals

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

world

Use synonyms

follow and pursue their favourite content maker, who satisfies their needs and wants for entertainment.

For example

Linking Words

, Pewdiepie has the highest number of subscribers on

youtube

Use the right word

YouTube

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

follow him on different social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

In addition

Linking Words

, celebrities show us their talent and skill with their work

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they intrigue

individuals

Use synonyms

all over the

world

Use synonyms

with

performances

Correct pronoun usage

their performances

show examples

. They do hard

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

, which takes a lot of time to create content for their fans.

Furthermore

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

feel very close to them

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when they are watching their movies or shows.

For instance

Linking Words

, Pewdiepie is a Swedish

Youtuber

Use the right word

YouTuber

show examples

, he loves to create gaming videos and is a great meme reviewer, even though he

attends

Verb problem

tries

show examples

to influence people with a better perspective of both the real

world

Use synonyms

and the virtual

world

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, entertainers are the great

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

of human beings

Punctuation problem

, as

show examples

everyone likes to follow and learn activities, which motivates them to discover new opportunities as well. It is true that people working in the entertainment industry are as important to society as scientists.

farhanuddinahmed11

Nov 30, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Your answer shows a clear view, but ideas are not well built. Expand each idea with one to two steps, and link them to the question.

Task Response

Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence, then give one example, then link back to your view.

Task Response

You give some examples, but they are not explained enough. Explain why the example supports your point.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use simple linking words to show flow: first, also, for example, in addition, finally.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to have a short conclusion that restates your view.

Task Response

Clear position is stated early.

Coherence and Cohesion

Some example use helps to show a point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the contemporary era, the number of people longing to learn about the historical background of the accommodation they wish to live in is rising. Given that this phenomenon stems from people wanting to ensure a reliable source of investment and safety, it can be pursued in several ways that this essay further elaborates on.
7
band
Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views.
In recent years, the problem of recruiting employees who work independently or in a teamwork environment has gained enormous popularity among people. While some believe that business industries should hire individual workers, others consider that a collaborative atmosphere is more effective for success. This essay explores both views and gives appropriate reasons.
6
band
Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Some say that earning important quantities of cash as well as having less intervals of leisure is better than having less money with more free time. This essay will suggest that owning loads of it is necessary in order to have quality relaxation periods and having more spare time allows you to feel, overall, more relaxed.
7.5
band
Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?
It is true that mobile phones always influence each individual both positively and negatively. From my perspective, this practice is harmful to a certain extent. The following paragraph will shed light on my viewpoints.
6
band
Some people think that Financial School should be mandatory in schools. Others say that there are more important topics. Discuss both statement and give your opinion.
Many people would argue that Financial School should be learning in schools, while others think that other topics have more importance. I believe that Financial school is very important because students would have skills to afford the business field. However, is true that there are other topics such as robotics and computer technology because they will be the enterprises of the future.

Some feel that good entertainers are as important to society as scientists. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Mobile phones have brought many benefits, but they have also had negative effects. Do the disadvantages of having mobile phones outweigh the advantages?

Some people think that Financial School should be mandatory in schools. Others say that there are more important topics. Discuss both statement and give your opinion.