The detailed description about crime will affect people and cause many social problems. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#description #crime #people #media

There is an argument whether public detail about

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

should be accessible in the media or not.

This

essay will discuss both points of view.

First

of all, nowadays, news travel

Change preposition

show examples

a fast speed within a matter of minutes.

For instance

crime

is one of the news which has been

sharing

Wrong verb form

shared

show examples

Change the preposition

show examples

the internet.

For example

, for a while, one female murderer became highly well-known in Tiktok for

Change the word

their

his

her

show examples

beautiful appearance and unique behaviours in the court. The

muderer

Correct your spelling

murderer

appeared calm and playful even after being sentenced to jail for a

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

life-time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

This

action was weirdly attracted to numbers of people which gained the offender a frame and many supports.

However

, the issue has been raised that sharing positively about offenders in the media is considered to be

encouragement

Add an article

an encouragement

show examples

for a

crime

Furthermore

, kids may

mistakely

Correct your spelling

mistakenly

see

them

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

as role models and follow their paths.

On the other hand

, due to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fast transmission of information, people can be alerted

immedietly

Correct your spelling

immediately

in case of emergency.

For example

, if there are terrorists'

attack

Fix the agreement mistake

attacks

show examples

and people share about

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, other persons can avoid that area and polices would be informed about the situation.

In addition

, the internet can be used to spread awareness regarding a safe society by posting how serious or how often

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

have been reported as well as how to lessen them. In conclusion, it should not be completely controlled in terms of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

essential information regarding illegal actions in my perspective.

However

, media users should have a high level of self-awareness to not encourage

such

actions.

Submitted by petchlada.yaovapak on Tue Nov 30 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The detailed description about crime will affect people and cause many social problems. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

According to some people, it would be better if industries are established in regions outside the urban area. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages.

Nowadays, in many areas, local people celebrate large-scale festivals. It can bring economy; beside, it can take away the local culture. So, what is the advantage and disadvantage of this problem.

In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?

some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor and rich people. Others think it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.