In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that
children
who are doing paid
work
in many nations is absolutely wrong, while others believe that
children
gain viable
work
skills through it.
Although
children
doing paid
work
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
its
Change preposition
about its
show examples
impacts on tehri
studied
Wrong verb form
studies
show examples
,
this
essay believe that
children
doing some
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
jobs make them transparent with their
future
occupation
that is
far more significant. Some say that offspring who start working, lack their
interest
in academics. To say
this
,
children
start earning money
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
very young age that fascinates them and
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
show examples
their
interest
in working hard and harder at the
work
.
Therefore
, making
children
exhausted for the remaining day
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
them unable to focus on their studies.
For instance
,
nearabout
Correct your spelling
near about
41% of Indian
children
who are doing paid
work
refuse to go to school.
However
, I believe that the lesson
children
learn through working is invaluable.
Children
engaged in some paid
work
analyse their career
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
more clearly. To say that,
children
during their working experience enable themselves if they are keen to continue working in the same profession in the
future
or not.
This
results in making them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
think and rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
future
aim more accurately.
For example
, most Australian adults
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
their
future
job at the age of 17. I
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
believe that
children
should be involved in some of the paid
work
that
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
opportunity to develop their
interest
in the most suitable field for them to
work
further
during their adulthood. In conclusion, despite the fact that the
children
shed their
interest
in studies when they start working, it is far more valuable that the working opportunity
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them in deciding their career in long
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term
show examples
.
Submitted by kajalsaini454 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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