Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society, health is one of the most important subjects. Many doctors state that people do less physical exercise compared to in the past.
Although
modern life is one of the reasons for
this
negative trend, there are some solutions for
this
. The first aspect to point out is that modern life has a huge impact on the amount of activity which people do.
Firstly
, it is often said that there is a lack of public transport system in some countries.
As a result
, individuals tend to have their own cars and they commute with them when they need to work.
Secondly
, the ways of working have changed significantly.
For example
, a person who works in an office does not need to walk around the office since technology has improved its function. They can submit their documents through their laptops. These aspects are the reasons why the public
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lack of physical exercise.
However
, there are some solutions for
this
negative trend in the community.
For instance
, companies should encourage their workers to commute by public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
. If a person uses trains or buses, they need to walk automatically.
Additionally
, companies could support their fares, so that workers would not be worried about their finances. In order to make
this
change in the world, the government
also
need to take responsibility
to make
Change preposition
for making
show examples
more frequent trains and buses
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
rush hour. If there were frequent and efficient public transport systems, individuals would not be stressed when they commute.
To conclude
, the public is influenced by modern lifestyle in a negative way in terms of maintaining their health.
Therefore
, the onus is on companies and the government to encourage people to do more exercise. When there is enough support in society, individuals will change their minds on how to maintain their own health.
Submitted by hiromi-o.1828 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the question but needs more development and depth in the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows good use of cohesive devices, but the supporting ideas could be better linked together for a more coherent structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • digital entertainment
  • urbanization
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian areas
  • time constraints
  • lack of awareness
  • active transportation
  • infrastructure
  • workplace wellness programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • incentivizing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: