Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

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t is believed by some that it is significant for teenagers to have a part-time job and salary.

Also

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, they claim that it is beneficial for them to be more independent and it helps them to get essential lessons. While others think that focusing on their study is a better choice for

students

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. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people claim that teenagers should

work

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part-time because of their future

work

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-life. They insist that it is a useful way to learn how to earn

money

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from an early age.

However

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, I do not find

this

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argument convincing as they have time to learn the value of

money

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after their education.

In addition

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, they believe that it is helpful to acquire financial management for their future which is I think is not an appropriate reason. They can expand their knowledge in

this

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field after graduation.

On the other hand

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, another group of people justifiably argue that

students

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should not spend their leisure time working because they may distract from education.

Consequently

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, they find it difficult to make a balance between

work

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and study.

Also

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, it leads to reduce their academic performance because those pupils have less time to focus on their studies than those who do not have to have part-time jobs.

For instance

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, there is more chance for

students

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who are not under the pressure to

work

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, to be more successful in their education compared with their peers who are compelled to

work

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. In conclusion,

although

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by working part-time

students

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are likely to learn practical skills in handling

money

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this

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pressure brings about distraction for

students

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of their lessons.

Hence

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, it is more practical to learn children about the value of

money

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. Because I believe that it can be taught at the school alongside other programs.

Submitted by bamdad.aminzadeh on Thu Dec 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

79.Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.