Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

t is believed by some that it is significant for teenagers to have a part-time job and salary.

Also

, they claim that it is beneficial for them to be more independent and it helps them to get essential lessons. While others think that focusing on their study is a better choice for

students

. I strongly agree with the latter opinion. On the one hand, some people claim that teenagers should

work

part-time because of their future

work

-life. They insist that it is a useful way to learn how to earn

money

from an early age.

However

, I do not find

this

argument convincing as they have time to learn the value of

money

after their education.

In addition

, they believe that it is helpful to acquire financial management for their future which is I think is not an appropriate reason. They can expand their knowledge in

this

field after graduation.

On the other hand

, another group of people justifiably argue that

students

should not spend their leisure time working because they may distract from education.

Consequently

, they find it difficult to make a balance between

work

and study.

Also

, it leads to reduce their academic performance because those pupils have less time to focus on their studies than those who do not have to have part-time jobs.

For instance

, there is more chance for

students

who are not under the pressure to

work

, to be more successful in their education compared with their peers who are compelled to

work

. In conclusion,

although

by working part-time

students

are likely to learn practical skills in handling

money

this

pressure brings about distraction for

students

of their lessons.

Hence

, it is more practical to learn children about the value of

money

. Because I believe that it can be taught at the school alongside other programs.

Submitted by bamdad.aminzadeh on Thu Dec 02 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

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for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately you have travel insurance to cover the cost of the lost item. Write a letter to the insurance manager. In your letter: describe the item you lost, explain how you lost it, tell the insurance company what you would like them to do.

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