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Band 4

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offenses
In our modern era,the
roads
 we ply
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 has become very risky because of the road traffic accidents
drivers
 and pedestrian are faced with on a daily basis.
This
 essay will elaborate more on the preamble
that is
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should enforce strict
punishment
 for those who offend the rules and regulations on our
roads
.
To begin
 with,most people are afraid of being given
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 ticket when they park on the wrong side of the road.By giving out tickets to bad
drivers
,it
in turn
Add the comma(s)
, in turn,
show examples
 corrects
drivers
 who drive haphazardly on our years and
hence
improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 safety.
This
 style of
punishment
for instance
 is
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 common in the Western
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
show examples
.
In addition
,another
punishment
 that can be given to recalcitrant
drivers
 to improve
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
 movement of driver and pedestrians are to fine them an amount of money when they are found to bend the rules.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 they can be sent to police custody if they break a major
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rule on our
roads
.
For Example
,a driver who drives on the path meant for walking should be picked up by the police to deter other road users from
repeaing
Correct your spelling
repeating
repealing
 the same act.
Finally
 ,I agree with the statement that much difficult
punishment
 like, giving out fines,arrest by the police are some of the ways that can improve safety on our
roads
.
Submitted by berthmills4 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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