IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Prision is the best punishment for criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

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There are so many types of crimes in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Ranging from simple crimes to serious crimes: from theft to murder. Each of
which
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 will be punished
accordingly
Linking Words
. In some countries, anyone who violates the law is punishable by confinement. In
this
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 essay, I will try to look at the pros and cons of incarceration as a solution to sanction. On the one hand, the advantage of
this
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 topic is that there is no doubt that confinement is the most effective method if a person has committed a serious evil or has committed another violation. If a person commits a scandal, they should be behind bars and should not be allowed to remain in the community.
This
Linking Words
 is important for the safety of every citizen living in our country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a disadvantage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement. In my opinion, prison is probably not the most effective way to punish criminals. Because different types of criminals cannot be kept in the same place. There is a big difference between a murderer and an ordinary thief. It would be better if those who committed a major felony were given a larger type of torture, and those who committed minor lawlessness were given a smaller type of abuse,
such
Linking Words
 as a fine. In conclusion, I disagree with the idea that prison is the best method.
While
Linking Words
 confinement is a good way to punish criminals,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it does not always apply to everyone. Just as there are many types of
misdeed
Fix the agreement mistake
misdeeds
show examples
, the type of abuse must be different.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic, but it could be more engaged. Consider presenting a more compelling thesis statement to engage the reader.
coherence
The conclusion restates your disagreement but could be strengthened by summarizing your main arguments. Aim for a more definitive summary that reinforces your position.
coherence
Some sentences contain minor grammatical inaccuracies that can confuse the reader. Review your grammar to ensure clarity and precision in your arguments.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance your claims and make your points more persuasive.
task achievement
You have identified both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence
The organization of your essay is logical and follows a clear progression of ideas, making it easy to follow your argument.
coherence
Your vocabulary usage is varied, which helps in expressing your ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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