IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

One of the best methods to motivate and encourage workers is to pay them according to what they produce or sell. Do you think this is the best method?

#methods #workers #method
Some people
recon
Correct your spelling
reckon
show examples
, that in order to make workers
work
 harder and make them motivated is to make their salary depended on their
accomplishements
Correct your spelling
accomplishments
 in selling statistics. I am strongly convinced, that
this
metchod
Correct your spelling
method
 is the smartest solution, in order to make both sides happy. In
this
 kind of working
facilieties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 tends to
work
 different kinds of
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 being with various
asspirations
Correct your spelling
aspirations
. In
Correct your spelling
today's
today
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is common to put everyone in the same bins which make them feel unspecial and they may be convinced that nobody cares about their sacrifices for
work
. Due to that factor, they do not want to increase their input in statistics. Albeit, as we all know, people are not the same and for
some
Add a comma
,some
show examples
 it is more
valiable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 to do stuff in a friendly atmosphere rather than make more cash.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
citizients
Correct your spelling
citizens
 who need more money will have an opportunity to earn more
amound
Correct your spelling
amount
 of money which will encourage them to be more productive in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 workplace. Respectively bosses will be uncannily pleased to have more
work
 done by
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
 workers and they would not have to be afraid of deadlines.
On the other hand
,
this
 approach can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
 become toxic and
slipp
Correct your spelling
slip
 out of
controle
Correct your spelling
control
, because workers would not be able to stop
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
 from overwork and maybe competing with co-workers which can have various unwanted consequences. To sum up, even though
this
 system idea has some
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
, I believe, that the advantages are far more overshadowing them. I am ensured, that more people would feel more motivated to make their best in order to sell or produce products rather than if the salary was
constaly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 the same for everyone.
Submitted by anna.greczylo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: