Write about the following topic: Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Competition and
cooperation
Use synonyms
are so crucial among children. When we force them to do something we should learn them both being collaborators and a rival. According to adults imposing one of them on our heirs is obliged, while some people advocate that teaching competition to kids is more important, while others are of the opinion that
cooperation
Use synonyms
should be encouraging. I reckon that both are an indispensable part of their lives, yet
cooperation
Use synonyms
should outweigh.
First
Linking Words
of all, being a rival is taught especially at sport competitions
such
Linking Words
as swimming or tennis clubs.
This
Linking Words
emotion is imposed so that little athletes can assimilate it and will be more competitive in the future. We can see beneficial results in Rafael Nadal's life. According to his words, if his trainer who is
also
Linking Words
his uncle didn't force him to be so ambitious and competitive, he wouldn't reach what he achieved today.
This
Linking Words
situation may not give certain consequences and may create problematic conditions like its adverse challenges on me. When I was 6 years old I
Add a missing verb
was
show examples
exposed to
such
Linking Words
opinions. I was a tennis player and our couches were really ambitious and they were forcing us to compete with our best friends. Their intent was to show us
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the difference between a friend a rival.
However
Linking Words
, in the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
we were all quite the club since we were falling out
one
Change preposition
with one
show examples
another
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day. For
this
Linking Words
reason, when I become a coach I have never internalized
this
Linking Words
attitude. Yet,
this
Linking Words
can be effective for some kids because there are plenty of personality types.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, collaborative attitudes are a key aspect of kids lives. They should learn to work with their peers so that they will an opportunity to gain new viewpoints. Our opinions were created when we were children. What we have learned from the environment influence our prejudices, thoughts and lifestyles when we become adults.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if we want to make our heirs more social, sympathiser and responsible in the future, we should put
such
Linking Words
emotions during their childhood period. That's why I agree with the argument that
cooperation
Use synonyms
is more crucial than
Add an article
the
show examples
competition. To sum up, collaboration and contest are two crucial aspects of the life of a kid. While adults are teaching these senses they must remember that what they've learned will affect their entire nature. For
this
Linking Words
reason, I advocate the idea that being collaborative is more important since when they become older they may have common sense, a tendency to empathy with others or interact with humans more easily.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: