IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Medical services should be run by profit-making companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#services #companies
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Recently it is said that profit-making companies should take over medical services. I disagree with
this
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 idea due to several reasons, and for my consideration, medical
care
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 should be run by officials. On one hand, the operation of commercial medical corporations may lead to an increased expense in the medical
system
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.
Firstly
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, without public regulations, medical enterprises are able to manipulate the market by controlling the supply of certain medicine or treatment device in order to raise prices up. As consequence, patients would suffer from the high cost of medical expenses and many of them would not be able to afford them.
In addition
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, considering patience with chronic disease would have to suffer from long term pain .
On the other hand
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, a private-dominated medical
system
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 may widen the gap between wealthy and poor and result in tragedies. In a country without public
health
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care
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system
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, civilians would have to purchase expensive
third
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-party
insurance
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,
for instance
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, The United States is well known for having no public
health
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care
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 policy, citizens have to purchase
health
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 coverage from independent
insurance
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 providers which may offer pleasant service, but the price isn’t made for poor families.
Therefore
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, statistics indicate large portions of citizens in American have no medical
insurance
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 because they are hesitant in spending expensive
third
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-party medical
insurance
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 .
Furthermore
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, there would be a growing trend of hatred behaviour because only people with upper social status could afford medical
care
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. In my opinion, authorities either have to regulate these private entities or nationalize the
health
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care
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system
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. To sum up, there is surely no benefit in supporting private companies to take over the nation’s
health
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care
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system
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, it may cause potential risks
such
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 as unstable society and raise in the expense of medication for civilians.
Submitted by jasonzeroshi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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