IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believes that parents force their children to get sucess but other believes they need to teach them values of cooperation? Give your opinion with relevant examples?

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In the 21st century,
parents
Use synonyms
 are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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the real pillars of human development because their
way
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 of training makes everyone's
life
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 more accurate in modern lifestyle more accurate. In my opinion, I strongly
believes
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believe
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 that a person can
lead
Verb problem
make
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 healthier
choices
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 in adult
life
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 with the advice of their
parents
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. It will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
However
Linking Words
, in human
Use synonyms
life
Add a comma
life,
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 adults need people caring and
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
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 in which they can make their
choices
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 more relevant to society.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
American
Correct article usage
the American
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psychological
Correct your spelling
Psychological Association
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association
Add a comma
association,
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parents
Use synonyms
 should be the real
agent
Fix the agreement mistake
agents
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 of socialization of children to carry
their
Change preposition
out their
show examples
 roles in a proper
way
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 of manner. Apparently, childhood practice and
way
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 of
life
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 greatly influence
one
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's adult
life
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successful
Replace the word
success
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can modify
behaviour
Correct pronoun usage
their behaviour
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according to
Linking Words
 the progress of material
life
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. Admittedly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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decision
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decisions
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 like career
choices
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, approaches
of
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to
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life
Use synonyms
, behaviour towards others and marital status
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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greatly influence
one
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's
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parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
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 real family experiences.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, everyone
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 a balanced
life
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 to keep changes in their
choices
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the world
is
Verb problem
has
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 now carried out many destructive changes like crimes, alcoholism, drug addiction, and sexual
abuses
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abuse
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.
Hnce
Correct your spelling
Hence
, guardians and their
way
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 of
life
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 influence youngsters. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the crime
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crime record bureau
Correct your spelling
Crime Record Bureau
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 of India, 70% of adult suicides are carried out mainly because of unhealthy family
life
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
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. So imparting maturity on
one
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's mind will make their decision more accurate. In conclusion, there is a saying 'a bird without wings'
Linking Words
similarly
Capitalize word
Similarly
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parents
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 are inevitable for
one
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's dreamy
life
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.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 everyone should keep in mind that we are all responsible for our own children's future
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 to
lead
Verb problem
make
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a happy and prosperous decisions
Correct the article-noun agreement
happy and prosperous decisions
a happy and prosperous decision
show examples
.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear opinion and discusses both sides of the argument effectively. To improve task response, try to ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed directly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to link your ideas more coherently within paragraphs to enhance coherence and cohesion.
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