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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss
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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent
society
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 compare
success
Use synonyms
 in two major ways.majority understands it as
Correct your spelling
a way
show examples
away
Correct your spelling
a way
show examples
 of earning
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 while others
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that scientists or teachers are the most
succefull
Correct your spelling
successful
 as they contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.in
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
my
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 opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that successful
people
Use synonyms
 are the individual who earns
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
 will discuss both views.
firstly
Linking Words
,
people
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 who earn
money
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 are the most
succeful
Correct your spelling
successful
this
Linking Words
 is because when someone can earn
a
Remove the article
apply
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good
money
Use synonyms
,he or she can plan a good business which can eventually
improves
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improve
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 his or her economic status
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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 example,
i
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I
show examples
 recently got a job with wonderful payroll
this
Linking Words
 has
make
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made
show examples
 me to build good residentials and to be honest
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 do a good outcome.The
money
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 get from the premises can be used to expand other business ideas that
initially
Linking Words
i
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I
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 had planned like starting my own hospital.
This
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 is what we termed as being
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success
Add an article
a success
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.
secondly
Linking Words
,with enough
money
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 ,you can live a
luxary
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luxury
 life.In my
county
Add a comma
,county
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kenya
Change the capitalization
Kenya
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politians
Correct your spelling
politicians
 are known
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 earning good
money
Use synonyms
.They live in big houses driven by
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 expensive cars and get better health care services.All of these you cannot
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 do when you are not
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 and with
money
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 all of these are possible.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 ,Scientists or teachers can as well be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 by contributing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
directl
Correct your spelling
directly
 or indirectly these are seen when actually our children perform well in schools and
this
Linking Words
 can be seen as a
mojor
Correct your spelling
major
success
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teachers.Scientist as well helps us in the weather analysis
this
Linking Words
 can help us to plan well during our planting seasons. In conclusion,
success
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 can be either seen when
people
Use synonyms
 are earning good
money
Use synonyms
 or contributions to
society
Use synonyms
 by teaches and
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 but on my
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that only
people
Use synonyms
 that are earning can be most
succefull
Correct your spelling
successful
.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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