IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many believe that it is important to protect all wild animals, while others think that it is important to protect some, not all of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is said by many individuals that, every wild
species
Use synonyms
 should be protected, but few argue that only some
animals
Use synonyms
 should be saved not all.
While
Linking Words
, some
animals
Use synonyms
 are endangered, so it is mandatory to protect that particular kind at any cost. So, let's explain
this
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 in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, a plethora of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 are living in forests, they depend upon each other either for community or for getting food. As we all know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is natural who keep balance,
for example
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, Snake,
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
eats her own child under her coverage,
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otherwise
Rephrase
apply
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a number of her
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, if she
will
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not engulf, they might be so much spread and will be more than
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 population. So, these kinds of generations are not necessary to be saved.
Moreover
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, many
species
Use synonyms
 have become extinct in the past time period, like dinosaurs, which is just seen in the photos
as well as
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 in 3D movies.
Secondly
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, it is essential to protect particular kinds of
animals
Use synonyms
 that are less in number,
for instance
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, the tiger has become an endangered
species
Use synonyms
,
countable
Correct word choice
and countable
show examples
 tigers are found in forests and some zoos. So, it is the duty of the government to preserve
this
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 wild animal.
Although
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 it is a very fast and furious animal, we cannot deny that it is a national animal of India and a status symbol for countries.
Furthermore
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, a special kind of treatment should be provided in case of illness and they should be treated wisely in zoos. In conclusion, the authorities should take some steps to protect particular
species
Use synonyms
 like
tiger
Correct article usage
the tiger
show examples
, they should organize the conference at
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 level and find out
required
Correct article usage
the required
show examples
 solutions to save it ,
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otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 they might be extinct one day like a dinosaur.

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task response
The essay does not fully address the task, as the arguments are not clearly presented and do not provide a balanced discussion of both views. Additionally, the essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas and fails to provide relevant specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat coherent, with identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks coherence and fails to provide clear connections between the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural habitats
  • ecological balance
  • biodiversity
  • confinement
  • natural stimuli
  • psychological problems
  • genetic homogeneity
  • environmental changes
  • adapt and evolve
  • survival of the fittest
  • social structures
  • communication patterns
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