IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people believe that allowing children make their own choices on everyday matters( such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
One common area of debut among
parents
 is to which
children
 should be trusted to make their own
decisions
 and the potential impact on their sense of responsibility.
Although
 the choice of decision-making skills will help some kind of ways. I personally think that with
parents
,
children
 can be more aware of others On the one hand, people think that adolescents who are allowed to make their own
decisions
 would have a negative impact on their mental health. Kids who make their own choice would be more selfish and only think about themselves.
As a result
,
this
 will be a drawback for the society that they are part of.
For instance
, if a teenager listens to loud music in late-night without thinking about their neighbours sleeping could receive a lot of hate and.
Thus
, self-centred
children
 can negatively impact their social skills in the future time.
On the other hand
, in my point of view, I still think that
children
 who are dictated the majority of their decision by their
parents
 would be more aware of others.
Parents
 are usually more mature when it comes to making
decisions
 as they are older and have much more life experience than their
children
.
For example
, some
parents
 who are soldiers force their offspring to join the army owning to the fact that the army will improve their physical and mental health.
Hence
, over time,
this
 can result in the
children
 growing up to be more mature. In conclusion, in my opinion, I think
parents
 should make the majority of their kid's
decisions
 in order for them to develop their maturity toward themselves.
Submitted by hoctotnha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: