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Writing Samples
Band 5

buying things on the internet, such as books, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Owing to the fact that nowadays everyone is liking the new ways of purchasing anything online and it is quite famous
also
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. Personally, I think that
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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 of
this
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 kind of shopping will surely outweigh the demerits of
such
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 buying. As per my perspective, online shopping has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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various benefits
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to offline which will be elaborated in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, e-shopping came in the market with full of advantages as people can order items round the clock by sitting anywhere in the world. As nowadays, schedule of each and every people is very busy and they do not have enough time to visit the stores.
Hence
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, by a single click over the mobile apps,
for
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instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 Flipkart, Grofers, Big Basket, Amazon, Paytm,Make my Trip, Trivago, Kindle, Myntra, all the problems can get
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
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.
Either
Correct word choice
Whether
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 it is a home essential or buying the clothes on the internet, customers love to browse the products, add them
in
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to
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 a wishlist, and make the payment at the end.
Moreover
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, sometimes circumstances arrive in the life when one
have
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has
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 to travel into
the
Remove the article
apply
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another country or city, so in
such
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 situation booking of
ticket
Add an article
the ticket
a ticket
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 is significantly very easy through those apps and soft copy of the ticket can be taken in the airport.
This
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 saves a lot of time. Recently, when it comes to reading books, no one wants to carry reading materials along with them
in
Change preposition
on
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 the flight or train because it weighs so much. Due to
this
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 reason,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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book lovers subscribe
for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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e-books which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 free of cost as well
for
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as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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trial version.
On the other hand
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, sales
has
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have
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 shown a sharp fall at the retail shops. Since they are visited by few
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
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 of consumers as they cannot afford to provide high rates of discount.
As a result
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, shopkeepers income have reduced as compared to past and it becomes slightly difficult for them to run their houses,
fulfill
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fulfil
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 basic needs of own as well as of their family.
Furthermore
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, Local tour and travel agencies business got
demolised
Correct your spelling
demolished
demoralised
 due to the fact of profit margins got declined.
In addition
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, the Books are being bought by very less number of customers, while at the moment they are taking interest in Amazon Kindle, e-books, pdf or soft copies that's why
hard
Add an article
a hard
the hard
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 copy of the books kept in the stores for a long time. To conclude, in my opinion, online shopping has a lot of pros than cons,
consequently
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, it is preferred by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all the person.
It's
Replace the word
Its
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 advantages have
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighed
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 the disadvantages because
this
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 sort of e-commerce
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
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 have made life easy and comfortable.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Digital marketplace
  • Online transaction
  • Cybersecurity
  • Fraudulent websites
  • Convenience
  • Variety
  • Flexibility
  • Price comparison
  • Customer review
  • Return policy
  • Brick-and-mortar store
  • Physical inspection
  • Data breach
  • Economic impact
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