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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that because children find subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult, they ought to be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree?

#people #children #subjects #mathematics #philosophy
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Many would argue that some subjects which
children
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 usually regard
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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difficult should be compulsory.
However
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, in my opinion, it’s better to make hard courses to be optional for the
children
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.
To begin
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 with, the
children
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 period is a part of finding their paths and careers.
Accordingly
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, making a habit to choose a field
which
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in which
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 they are talented or could be heartful since early years will give them advantages in various ways.
In other words
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, ‘Select and choose’ is a necessary attitude in
this
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 complex world that involves a lot of works nowadays.
Additionally
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, it is undeniable that everyone
don’t
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doesn’t
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 need to do tough subject matters like math and philosophy well as a member of society. Namely, concentrating in each
children
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’s own field, eventually, would be effective to society and
also
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 help individuals convenient.
Second
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, pressing something to
children
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 who have immature ideas and
sensitive
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are sensitive
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 doesn’t make beneficial results. There are common situations that
children
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 react with rejection and even regard it as
a
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apply
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trauma if someone forces them to do what
unpleased
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is unpleased
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 or difficult for them.
Also
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,
a
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in a
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study about
children
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 psychology, the
children
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 who once were coerced in
educational
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the educational
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 environment easily become spiritless in other similar courses and even
been
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have been
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 affected to completely new situations with fear and worry. Plus, in the attached data,
children
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 who
has
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have
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 selected their subjects and educational conditions get better grades and become fabulous adults than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 has lived in mandatory situation academically. In conclusion, I firmly claim that giving
children
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 the
rights
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right
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of
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to
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 choices
about
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apply
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difficult subjects bring advantages in not only
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the short-term
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short-term
Correct your spelling
short term
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 but
also
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 in
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the long-term
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long-term
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long term
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. I hope in the future, more
children
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 get out of the compulsory study system which is prevalent nowadays.
Submitted by shoep11 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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