Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

in recent decades,shaping
children
s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in the best way becomes a popular title among people.some individuals argue that
punishment
can be a proper method for forcing
children
to behave well.while others believe that
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
children
with rewarding is the better way.
however
,from my point of view,
punishment
has a bad
sideffectn
Correct your spelling
side-effect
side-effects
.but,there is
range
Add an article
a range
the range
show examples
of discussion on both side which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will explain here. on the one hand,it is true that having
children
even in the best condition is challenging enough.raising
children
and teaching them what is wrong or right is the hardest part .there is a range of
element
Replace the word
elements
show examples
which
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
punishment
can be recognized as a great factor for obeying. it causes
children
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
affraid
Correct your spelling
afraid
of their
parents
and follow their roles.
therefore
,they put their best foot forward to
behaive
Correct your spelling
behave
well and repel their bad
sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
.
in addition
,they try to get
parents
satisfactory and do everything they want to do.
therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
children
respect them properly.
on the other hand
,rewarding and praising is
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
factors
Replace the adjective
factor
show examples
for making
children
behave well. it makes a good relationship between
parents
and
children
.they become
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
with
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
therefore
,
children
do not hide anything from them.
children
become more mature
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
they can trust
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themseves
Correct your spelling
themselves
and
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
trust them.
secondly
,
children
become brave enough to come to their
parents
and talk about
their
Correct pronoun usage
them their
show examples
problems and use their
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
.so,
parents
become a great
rolmodel
Correct your spelling
role model
and
children
respect them by their heart. in conclusion,
punishment
and rewarding are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two factors for raising
children
.as we know some punishments are
illiegal
Correct your spelling
illegal
in lots of countries and make
children
aggressive
however
both of them in
some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
show examples
is neseccory for
children
but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
agree with rewarding more than
punishment
.
Submitted by maherfateme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • reward
  • reinforcement
  • discipline
  • boundary
  • behavior
  • self-esteem
  • motivation
  • intrinsic
  • consequence
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • resentment
  • positive learning environment
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: