Children should never be educated by parents at home

#children #parents #home

The number of children who

educated

Add a missing verb

are educated

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

their parents isn’t much. More parents don’t have the opportunity to spend their whole days educating their children, so they

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

them in

school

. A lot of people think going to

school

is right as I do.

To begin

with, when a

child

is educate

Change the verb form

is educated

show examples

by his mother or father, he loses his teaching qualification.

Such

as a qualified teacher knows much more than a parent who graduated 10 years ago. So it becomes clearer to us that the

child

will be more educated.

Secondly

, by going to

school

, the

child

will meet many new people and they become friends.

For example

, the

child

will become more communicative and confident.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

a change of location leads to diversity.

For instance

Add a comma

show examples

sitting at home staring at a

child

. In conclusion, studying at home with our parents may do us more harm than good. Children must attend

school

Submitted by taniadim74 on Sun Dec 05 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

153 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children should never be educated by parents at home

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people feel that global warming should be dealt with by governments. Others feel that it is responsibility of individuals in society to solve the problem. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some couples try to have a good career for having a baby; what you think?

Today many people frequently change their jobs. What problems does it create? How to solve them?

Some people say that children should play games which require teamwork such as football and basketball whereas, some think they should be doing individual sports such as swimming and running. Do you agree or disagree?

As the cost of living rises, most people need more than one job to pay the bills. Describe the possible causes of this and suggest how the problem can be dealt with