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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

On vehicle-free day, private cars, trucks and motorcycles are banned in the city centre while the public transport is permitted such as bicycle, buses and taxis. Do the benefits of vehicle- day outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some people find a
vehicle-free
day
 inconvenient because they are not allowed to use their private vehicles.
However
, it is necessary to acknowledge that using public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 has beneficial effects on the
environment
 that outweigh
this disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
these disadvantages
show examples
.
To begin
 with, it is true that people might experience inconvenience on a
vehicle-free
day
 since they need to use public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 like buses and bicycles to travel in a city.
In particular
, taking a bus to do some grocery shopping can be tiring and time-consuming
due to
 the limited routes buses have.
For
this
 reason, individuals might have to wait a long period of time to arrive at their destinations
while
caring
Verb problem
carrying
show examples
 heavy grocery bags with them.
This
 shows that not being able to drive private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 can be an inconvenience to some people. Regardless of these downsides, there are many benefits of a
vehicle-free
day
.
Firstly
, it is beneficial to the
environment
. A number of environmental experts have long suggested that excessive car ownership is one of the causes that pollute the
environment
, especially the air. Prohibiting private vehicle
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 contributes to reducing air pollution
while
 slowing the environmental destruction that human activities are causing.
Hence
,
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 a
vehicle-free
day
 is good for the
environment
 and far more important than
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 easily in a city. In conclusion, a
vehicle-free
day
 reduces air pollution and saves the
environment
 from being destroyed at a fast rate.
Therefore
, despite the inconvenience that individuals might experience,
vehicle-free
 days can provide more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by bm3814 on

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task response
Overall, the essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear position. Make sure to address any counterarguments to further strengthen the response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve further, work on transitioning between ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of cohesive devices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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